Better Relationships Blog

Welcome to the Better Relationships Blog.
Your guide to creating happier, healthier love relationships.
These ideas are the synthesis of what I’ve learned from my clients, my training and my own life, and are deeply influenced by the wisdom of many relationship experts in particular David Schnarch, Harville Hendrix, David Richo, John Gottman and Judith Hemming.

Better Relationships ♯10. get better at repair

10. Get Better at Repair

Some relationship conflict is inevitable, and using many of the tools such as being able to talk and listen well, knowing when to walk away and agreeing to return when both have cooled down – will support you to understand … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯9. talk to each other everyday

9. Talk to Each Other Everyday

Our partner is the most important other person in our world, and we need frequent contact and conversation to stay attuned to each others lives, to share thoughts and feelings, to explore ideas and make decisions.  We also need to … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯8. know your escape routes

8. Know your Escape Routes

Intimate contact is what most of us desire, but for many it’s tricky territory. Deeply loving another is to make them massively important, and that means being vulnerable. And this is a huge risk – they could leave or die. … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯7. protect couple time

7. Protect couple time

Most of us have very busy lives. Work and family commitments, household chores and social events can fill all our time.  Unless you make time for each other, it simply won’t happen.   An evening out with friends is great, but … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯6. ensure you rest and sleep

6. Ensure you Rest and Sleep

For many couples, disturbed sleep or lack of sleep is a huge issue and the ripples affect the quality of the relationship. Tired people have less energy and interest for each other, are more irritable and fractious, and tired people … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯5. initiate sex

5. Intiate Sex

Unless both partners are initiators, things in the bedroom very soon get out of balance. The initiator will tire of their role and become resentful, and sex becomes a point of friction. If the initiator gives up, this can be … Continue reading

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Better Relationships #4 Choose your partners, again

4. Choose your Partner – Again

How we came to be with the person we married has a bearing on the relationship.  The familiar story is that people fall in love, and have some time before deciding to commit to each other.  But there are countless … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯3. ask for what you want

3. Ask for what you want

If you expect your partner to know what you want without you expressing it, then you are looking for a parent, not a partner.  As very young children we rely on our parents intuitively fulfilling our needs. It’s wonderful to … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯2. daily physical contact

2. daily physical contact

Couples who have frequent physical contact are generally happier than those who don’t.  Touch is a powerful way of communicating love, care and empathy. Embracing helps us to connect to ourselves and is a potent way of getting in touch … Continue reading

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Better Relationships ♯1. Speak your partner’s ‘love language’

1. speak your partners love language

We usually expect our partner to respond to a loving gesture as we do. If a surprise gift fills you with excitement and joy, you are likely to enjoy giving gifts to others. But gifts may not be high on … Continue reading

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